Escaping video game addiction: Cam Adair at TEDxBoulder

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Translator: Géraldine Géraldine Reviewer: Queenie Lee
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For over ten years, I was addicted to playing video games.
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This addiction affected many areas of my life,
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including being a major influence in my decision
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to drop out of high school at the age of 15.
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Eventually, my parents got on my case to get a job, so I got one.
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I say "got" because I pretended to have a job for months.
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Every morning at 7 a.m., my dad would drop me off at the restaurant
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where I was a prep cook.
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After he drove off,
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I'd walk across the street and catch the bus back home,
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sneaking in through my window and going to sleep.
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I'd been up all night playing video games.
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The truth is I didn't want to do these things - I just did.
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The addiction controlled the behavior.
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Three years ago, I decided to make a change.
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I just moved back home to Calgary, Canada, from living on Vancouver Island,
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and I couldn't get over this feeling of immense disappointment in myself.
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I moved to Vancouver Island inspired to take on new challenges,
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only to be left playing video games 16 hours a day for five months straight.
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I felt like a failure, and unfortunately, this was a feeling I knew too well.
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So I did what anybody would do:
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I Googled it!
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And the answers I found -
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(Laughter) (Applause)
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and the answers I found were incredibly frustrating.
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There were suggestions like "study more,"
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when the whole reason I was playing video games was to avoid studying,
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or to hang out with friends when all my friends played video games.
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Not knowing what else to do, I decide to quit cold-turkey,
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and after a few months,
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I learned key lessons that led to major breakthroughs in my recovery.
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And knowing others were struggling with this addiction,
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I decided to share my story.
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I wrote a blog post online titled "How to quit playing video games forever,"
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and the response: overwhelming.
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But is video game addiction really that big of a problem?
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I mean, we are talking about video games here.
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Sure, I had my own personal experience with it,
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but did this problem scale, or was I just one of the unlucky ones?
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Current research suggests that 97 percent of youth play video games,
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which equates to 64 million kids, in the US alone,
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between the ages of 2 and 17,
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with the fastest-growing age were kids aged 2 to 5.
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In the UK, 10% more kids aged 2 to 5 know how to operate a smartphone application,
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then know how to tie their own shoes.
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Unfortunately, the debate surrounding video games
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focuses on whether you should play or not,
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when that's like saying should you drink or not,
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if you can do it in moderation, that's fine.
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But what if you can't, what if right now you are stuck at home playing video games,
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and you want to stop and don't know how.
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Imagine for a second how this makes you feel.
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Do you feel a sense of pain?
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What about feelings of guilt, shame, do you feel confident, anxious, depressed?
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Now, this wouldn't be a good TEDx talk unless I shared the lessons I learned
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and how you can use them to help yourself
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or someone you know overcome this addiction.
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It's not about the games; it's about why you play the games.
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If you can understand why you play games, you can move on from them.
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There are four main reasons why you play games.
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First, they are a temporary escape.
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After a tough breakup at the age of 18,
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playing games online gave me the perfect way
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of not having to deal with the situation.
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I could simply get absorbed in games and play for hours and hours.
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Second, games are social.
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Staying home on a Friday night doesn't seem so bad
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when you are at home playing games with your friends online.
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Not only that, but games offer a clean slate on the social ladder.
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Being bullied when I was younger
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didn't exactly leave me feeling very confident in my social standing.
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I felt misunderstood, unaccepted, and unsure how to fix it,
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even though I want it too.
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Playing games online gave me this opportunity;
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I could be who I wanted to be; nobody knew my history,
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and I was judged based on my ability to play the game
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and not on my current social standing.
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Third, games are a challenge.
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They give you a sense of purpose, a mission, a goal to work towards.
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This is an achievement paradigm,
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achievements multiply the opportunities to experience success.
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Finally, you see constant measurable growth.
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This is a feedback loop. You get to see progress.
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When you are at school, you struggle to improve your social standing,
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but online you are able to see rewards for the efforts you've put in.
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Consider how it feels when you're finally able to see progress in something;
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consider how it feels
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when you are able to see that the goal you've set out for is achievable;
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combine these four areas, and you have a very addicting process.
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So where do we go from here? How do we fix this problem?
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Video game addiction is a habit developed over time
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by becoming your go-to activity whenever you're bored.
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So parents, it starts with you.
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I'm sorry to say, but the iPad is not the new babysitter.
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They need interaction, not entertainment. Next, game was played for various -
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(Applause)
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Next, games were played for very specific reasons.
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Identify their motivations and help them find these in other activities,
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help them with their social skills.
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The truth is they struggle to make friends.
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Lastly, don't punish them for their desire to play these games.
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Come from a place of compassion and encouragement, not judgment.
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We are so caught up in asking whether this is a real addiction or not
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that we've lost sight of what truly matters:
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How do we help these people stop playing video games?
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But there is another way.
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The truth is this is about the idea
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of feeling trapped in something you want to move on from.
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It's about the freedom to live the way that you want
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and on your own terms,
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and sometimes all you need is permission.
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Permission to move on from something you want to move on from.
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Permission to stop playing video games.
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So if you're out there,
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whether in the audience or watching at home,
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I want you to understand one thing: you have permission.
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Thank you.
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(Cheering) (Applause)