Social & family Taha Pāpori, Taha Whānau

Keeping whānau safe
Haumarutanga whānau

Support for strong, safe, valued and connected whānau.

On this page

  1. Keeping our whānau safe
  2. Identifying family violence
  3. What happens at work when safety concerns arise?
  4. What can you do if you or your whānau are unsafe?
  5. Making a change

Keeping our whānau safe

Families are supposed to be a safe place and be a group of people who you can rely on in good times and in hard. Sadly, this isn’t always the reality for some people. A person may not be safe at home with their whānau for a whole range of reasons. 

The NZDF supports a safe whānau approach, meaning that all members in the whānau can thrive or flourish. We want to support whānau to join fully in the wider community (as much as they would like to) through taking part in community groups and clubs, volunteering to help those who are less able or fortunate, and helping to create a sense of belonging and identity.

In the NZDF we know the importance of the support our whānau provide for our members and the difference they make for us to do our work. In turn we seek to support our families via our support service providers such as Defence Community Facilitators and social workers, and by:

  • providing family support to personnel on all camps and bases; 
  • supporting flexible work practices where able;
  • providing opportunities for NZDF families/whānau to connect with each other;
  • holding regular family events and providing specific activities; and
  • providing specific support to families/whānau during deployments.

Identifying family violence

It’s not always easy to identify if you or someone you know is experiencing family violence or is in an abusive relationship. Violence and abuse are not always physical, and can include a wide range of controlling, coercive and intimidating behaviour.
 
The NZDF has designed a Family Violence Awareness course to help our community better recognise and respond to family violence. Find it on the Defence Learning Portal on the intranet.
 
Family violence can affect anyone, including men. Check out the guide for recognising and responding to family violence against male military members here.

What happens at work when safety concerns arise?

If there are safety issues at home, or within the whānau, it may involve a NZDF member not living the values of our organisation. Equally, it could arise from their family/whānau member with unsafe behaviours or your civilian partner or family member. These unsafe behaviours are heavily influenced by upbringing and experience of healthy relationships. If there are safety concerns, this will require time and focus within the home from the NZDF member, and all in the home can access a helping hand from support services.  

If your whānau are not safe or thriving it is likely that this will have an impact at work too. The unit may be impacted by a member needing time off work to manage these issues, being absent or on sick leave. Sometimes the person may also exhibit risky behaviours or attitudes, there may be conflict in the team, and there may even be concerns for safety during operations or exercises, with the potential for harm to the team.

What can contribute to family safety or harm issues?

Family safety issues are complex and there are often multiple factors or systems contributing to these issues. These are some experiences that have been identified as being potential contributors to family safety concerns:

  • Family violence or family harm.
  • Child abuse or neglect.
  • Sexual violence or harm.
  • Health or mental health issues.
  • Addictions of any kind (alcohol, gambling, gaming, porn).
  • Financial instability.
  • Barriers to clean dry and warm housing or mobility/ transience issues.
  • Barriers to transport or access to community resources.
  • Access to health services or the impact of health conditions (chronic, acute, mental health, genetic, injury or accident, terminal illness).
  • Education or work participation.
  • Justice or other disciplinary process.
  • Lack of meaningful work.
  • Mainstream society attitudes or customs.
  • Lack of cultural support or cultural safety or access to religious practices.
  • Barriers to access early childhood services.
  • Lack of parenting support.
  • Lack of support when things aren’t going okay.
  • Unable to access the basic necessities to live.

What can you do if your or your whānau are unsafe?

  • Contact the police, a doctor, social worker, Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Advisor (SAPRA) or chaplain.
  • Call one of the free national help lines.
  • Tell someone you trust and ask for their support to help your whānau be safe.
  • Create a safety plan with someone you trust.
  • Put child safety first and talk to your child educator or health provider or other professional about getting help.
  • The person that is making the environment unsafe needs to be accountable for their behaviours. Try to get them support to change (if it won’t heighten risk for other whānau members). Ensure the safety of any children or vulnerable family/whānau members has been secured first.
  • Learn more about our internal support services here.

If you believe another whānau you know are not safe you can ask questions like:

  • Are you ok?
  • Is someone hurting you?
  • Is there anything I can do?

Providing support if someone tells you they are unsafe at home

  • Listen, listen, listen – you don’t need to give advice.
  • Provide practical support – make a meal, take them to support services, be a point of contact on their safety plan, offer to take care of children.
  • Take their story seriously—don’t brush it off.
  • Support them to find their own way through the issue but by just being alongside them you will be helping.
  • Be prepared to take action if you know children are at risk and no one will do anything—phone NZ Police (111) or Oranga Tamariki 0508 326 459. Children don’t have choices about where they live or what they see hear or experience. The adults need to put them first in these situations.
  • Keep connected with them even if they have agencies involved.

Community projects to create positive change

  • Creating networks within existing community settings (church, marae, school) to respond to family safety issues.
  • Find out what some of the gaps are in community resources and get formal partners to advocate for solutions.
  • Create a local community campaign for a national family harm prevention strategy—for example, White Ribbon Day.
  • Apply for funding to improve community facilities which in turn will support healthy whānau.
  • Invite guest speakers from other communities in the country who have had success with community projects on this topic.

Making a change

It takes courage to step up and seek change. If you’re wanting to make positive change or support someone else to do so, non-judgemental information and support can be found at:

  • NZDF health and wellbeing support services, such as a doctor, social worker or chaplain; 
  • the InnerBoy app offers a free 30 day course by Matt Brown, author of “She is not your rehab”; and
  • Stories of change and guidance for how to get there, here.

Healthy relationships and masculinity

Being Men is a New Zealand Rugby (NZR) video series that explores wellbeing, healthy relationships and masculinity from the perspective of New Zealand men.

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