Contraception and Protection - The REAL Sex Talk

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Contraception. Protection. There's a lot out there.
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Condoms. Connies.
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Rubbers. Johnnies.
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Big, adult balloons.
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And there's the pill - the once-a-day, the baby stopper.
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There's LARCs - long-acting reversible contraceptives -
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the distance runners, the long-players.
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# LARC the Herald Angels sing. #
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(LAUGHS) That was terrible.
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There's the oral, or dental dam,
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or, as I like to call it, the 'dam, I feel like a woman'.
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(CHUCKLES) No, that was bad.
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Terrible. (LAUGHS)
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(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
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Captions by Able.
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Not all forms of protection are the same.
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Contraception stops babies from being made.
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Protection stops diseases from being spread.
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A condom does both. That's why it gets so much love.
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Mwah!
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That was weird.
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So, if you're ever thinking, 'Do I need to use protection?'
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you probably should.
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Condoms or dental dams can protect you against sexually transmitted
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diseases or infections.
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And contraceptives, like the pill,
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or long-acting reversible contraceptives,
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like implants or IUDs, prevent you from getting pregnant.
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Like condoms.
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When should you use protection? Here's the thing -
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There is an exception to this rule, but we'll bring that up later.
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You should use protection every time you have sex,
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not just if it's around or if you can be bothered.
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Every time.
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And its not just P in V.
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It's not just... eggplant emoji in taco emoji.
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CHUCKLES: No way!
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Its also eggplant emoji and mouth emoji;
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taco emoji and mouth emoji;
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eggplant and eggplant;
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eggplant and peach;
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taco and taco;
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taco and mouth.
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In my experience,
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same-sex sex was even harder to find out about protection
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and even harder to know where to go to find it.
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People often presume that you only need protection for penetrative sex.
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But protection's also needed for most other sexual acts,
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because STIs, or sexually transmitted infections,
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can pass orally or anally as well.
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It's less like - 'When do I need to use it?'
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and more like, 'When do I not need to use it?'
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Because unless you wanna deal with an STI, wrap it up.
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The best way is to protect yourself in more than one way.
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So, for example, if you're a woman having sex with a man,
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even if you're on the pill, you should use a condom too.
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Coming from a Polynesian home,
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I know that sex is not talked about a lot, neither is contraception.
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None of that sort of stuff is.
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It's all still, for the most part, taboo,
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so I didn't even talk to my mother about sex until I was 18 and 19 -
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sort of when I had grown up
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and talked to her as a grown-up about it.
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But I was fortunate enough to have friends whose mothers
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were very open about sexual health
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and who were always there for me in that way.
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Because I know it can be hard in a Polynesian family
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to talk about things like sex and contraception.
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It's so awkward and...
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But you will be able to find that information
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through other parents, hopefully, and older friends, maybe.
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I've got a theory that the self-service checkout
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at supermarkets, that they weren't put there
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just to make shopping more efficient for people.
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I reckon they were put there so that awkward teenagers
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wouldn't feel awkward when buying condoms.
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- (LAUGHTER) - WOMAN: Yeah!
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Contraception is so important
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because there's a lot of different ways that you can get pregnant.
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There's the obvious - when the penis ejaculates sperm inside the vagina -
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and then the not so obvious -
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sperm on the hands, mouths, other things.
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And sperm really just have one job to do,
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and that's fertilise an egg,
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so you've gotta be careful out there.
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Some contraceptives affect people in different ways.
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Some people experience side effects,
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so finding the right one is really important.
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Being a good Kiwi bloke, I've never spoken to anyone,
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talked to anyone, mentioned anything to anyone
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or disclosed anything to anyone. (CHUCKLES)
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As a result, I've been an idiot for most of my adult life,
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and it's been a rocky road.
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I always go to the internet.
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That's why I hope this will be on the internet,
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cos it's a good place to go. It's private, and it's not embarrassing.
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I maybe learnt what a condom was at school,
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and from there, I just thought that was a good idea,
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and so far, that's...
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I haven't had a kid yet - that I know of.
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So that's positive.
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I think.
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There's heaps different types of contraceptives,
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but some are more effective than others.
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The most effective form is if you get an IUD or an implant.
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And the next most effective is if you use the pill
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or you get an injection.
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But by far the least effective and the most unreliable
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is the pull-out method.
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Implants and IUDs are also known as LARCs -
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...for girls, women, people with vaginas,
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and they last for up to five years.
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An IUD is inserted into your uterus. But they don't protect against STIs.
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Or there's an injection that girls or people with vaginas
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can get every 12 weeks. But that doesn't protect from STIs either.
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Then there's the pill, which you do have to take every day.
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There are lots of different options in terms of pills,
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so if you're considering it, you should talk to your doctor
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to figure out the best one for you.
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You can even just use the pill to skip periods.
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And it's a good idea to keep using condoms,
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and you should never feel pressured to stop using them
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if you don't want to.
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That one exception to the rule is
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if you're in a committed relationship
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with somebody that you trust and you've both had clear STI checks,
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then you could talk about not using condoms or an oral-dental dam.
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But the thing is - if there's a chance that you might get pregnant,
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then you should be on some form of contraception.
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There might come a time where you slip up.
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But just because you've had unprotected sex,
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doesn't mean you're out of options.
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You might have done everything right but the condom just...
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broke.
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And if it happens to you, don't worry.
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Talk to your doctor, or go to your Family Planning clinic.
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See, at Family Planning, if you're under 22, it's free.
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You may need an STI test as well as emergency contraception.
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If you can't get to the doctor,
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you can buy emergency contraception at the pharmacy over the counter,
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and there's no need to be embarrassed,
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because a lot of us have been there before.
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The emergency contraceptive pill is most effective
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if you use it straight after unprotected sex,
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but you can use it up to three days afterwards.
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Something that's really important to know about the ECP
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is that it can be less effective if you weigh over 70 kilos.
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In that case, you can have a copper IUD inserted
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up to five days after you've had sex to prevent pregnancy.
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There's nothing embarrassing about using emergency contraception.
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And you don't have to go get it alone.
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Remember, there were two of you involved last night.
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If you do have an unplanned pregnancy, you still have options -
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abortion, adoption,
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and, if you're Maori, whangai, or keeping the baby.
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All of these options are available to you,
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and they are entirely your decision to make.
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There are two different types of termination
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available in New Zealand.
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One of them is a medical termination,
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and then there's a surgical termination.
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A medical termination involves taking a pill to end the pregnancy,
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and a surgical termination is a very safe, small surgical procedure.
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If you think that you might need one of these procedures,
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it's best if you come and see one of the doctors at Family Planning
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or your own family doctor.
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When it came to contraception,
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I guess the biggest learning for me was through my friends.
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We talked about it, shared stories about it.
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But also I was quite lucky
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to have quite what I call new-school parents,
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and so talking to them about sex, talking to them about contraception
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was totally cool.
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So, you're in the bedroom; things are getting real.
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You lean over, reach in the drawer, grab your old mate, tear it open...
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But how do you get it on?
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Why does it smell weird?
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Okey-dokey.
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First and foremost, make sure the condom is the right way up.
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The tip should be coming up from the centre of the ring.
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Prop penis, please.
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Lovely. Thank you, Lizzie.
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Now, hold the tip and roll the condom down the penis.
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It's important you hold the tip so there's no air, otherwise -
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(IMITATES EXPLOSION) - it could pop.
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It's not gonna make that sound, but it could pop.
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I think you can go now with the penis.
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If ever you start to put on a condom the wrong way,
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make sure you start again in order to fully protect yourself.
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I'm lucky, or unlucky, that my mum is a sexual health nurse,
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so it was a very, very open conversation in our household.
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Mum would deliver me condoms on a regular basis.
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98% of the time, pregnancies can be prevented
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through using condoms correctly.
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But the thing is you should also use a condom for oral sex,
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because there's always a chance of getting an infection
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through oral contact with genitals.
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If you are performing oral sex on a vulva,
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you can use a dental dam
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to protect both yourself and your partner from STIs.
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And if you don't have a dental dam,
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you can always make one at home with some scissors and a condom.
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(CHUCKLES)
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So you roll out the condom like so.
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(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
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Ta-da.
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Cut the tip...
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and the, uh, rim,
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I think they call this.
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And then,...
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uh, you cut it open,
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I suppose.
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I just usually slide it all the way through.
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Ta-da!
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- (SCISSORS CLATTER) - Don't need those.
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And here we have...
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an at-home, masterclass
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dental dam.
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Sometimes people avoid condoms cos they think they can kill the mood.
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But even if your penis gets a little bit shy putting on its raincoat,
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you can still bring the sexy back.
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I think people have this idea that...
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if you don't use a condom, it feels better,
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which is definitely not necessarily the truth.
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But even if that was the truth, I just think
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the risks involved there are just...
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You know, if you're thinking about
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the number of people who have got,...
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I don't know, a serious sexually transmitted infection
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or gotten pregnant, say, and they weren't, perhaps, prepared for that.
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If you think of the number of those people where that happened
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literally so that people could have 10, 20 minutes of a good feeling,
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you know, like, that just is such a risk to take.
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So, who's responsible for organising this sort of stuff?
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The answer's pretty simple - it's both of you.
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Both of you.
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All of the people involved in the 'event'
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should also be responsible for making sure that everything is safe.
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You go home with someone, and you get all excited and nervous,
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and you try and look for a condom through your wallet,
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and it turns out you don't have one.
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The you gotta go across the road to the Caltex, and you gotta buy one,
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but then you spend literally two hours
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trying to get the courage to go up to the counter and buy it.
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- (LAUGHTER) - And then by the time you get home,
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- she's just crashed out. - (LAUGHTER)
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Sometimes you assume that the other person's got it covered
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in terms of the contraception and protection side of things.
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But it's really important to have a conversation
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about what you're using and to make that sure both of you are aware
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and comfortable and supportive about what you're going to do together.
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I used to think it was just my responsibility to be on the pill,
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and I didn't talk to my partner about it.
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But it's really important to discuss options together.
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You can get condoms from your doctor or Family Planning.
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And guess what - you will not be the first person to ask.
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So chill, and don't worry.
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And don't think you're special either.
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Your doctor's given out a lot of them before.
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When I was a teenager and I started thinking about using protection,
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I didn't go to Family Planning or any of the people I should have.
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Me and my friend just had a bet,
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and one of us had to go into the pharmacy and buy some condoms.
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And then we both had a packet of chocolate-flavoured condoms
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that neither of us ever used.
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We tasted them, and they were disgusting. (CHUCKLES)
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(LAUGHTER)
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(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
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Captions by Able.
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Copyright Able 2018