Finding your Footing: Navigating Change with your Core Values (Stress Less, Strategise More series)

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um just by way of introduction I'm Steve Kearney I'm the chief mental health officer for the nzdf um and uh this is our stress less
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strategise more session today's lunchtime session isn't on values and using those to navigate challenging kind
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of Life circumstances and situations um while we're just waiting for stragglers maybe just do yeah a bit
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of a cons check so in your um in your uh teams bar you'll have a little icon with
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uh some like um hand claps and thumbs up and stuff like that so I just want you
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to kind of hit hit whatever one of those captures where you're at right now as you sit there which one of those is
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closest to kind of how you where you're at and and how you tracking okay so a
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few shocked faces that's cool mostly thumbs up some laughter that's great good start
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promising uh good okay some and some Shock faces sweet so as we go through
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today um I'd encourage use those buttons if uh mostly because it's weird for me
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if I am sitting here talking to myself I'll do that I love the sound of my own voice but um it's easier and more
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engaging and fun for everyone if uh if people kind of get involved so if you want to offer a comment or jump on the
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um emojis then that's then please do that right and I might ask you to do that as we go through a couple of things
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today and then the other thing I'll get you to know about or have a look at is we've got um the Q&A session um uh the
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Q&A option is enabled for this session so if you got any questions if I stop making sense I'm on my third coffee for
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today so I'm about uncaffeinated so um if I stop making sense then please check
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a question in the Q&A and Frank Harkin one of the CPO team is helping me out
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today is my kind of beautiful assistant lovely assistant Frank and he'll be just nudging those across to to my awareness
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um so I'll try and keep one eye on that so if I'm looking this way that's typically what I'm doing I'm trying to
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figure out what the um what the what's going on in the Q&A cool um any kind of questions before
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we get started check those in the Q&A
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now uh okay so I will we'll make the slides available there's a couple of
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slides that might actually be good for you to have a look there's also at the end I'll introduce a bit of a handout and so you can and I'll put a copy of
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that in the in the um Chat thing for this as well so so any of the hard copy
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stuff you'll get a copy of there as we go through cool all righty so let's get
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underway I'm going to share my screen uh so you can see what I've been uh
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thinking and we'll get into it so today's presentation is finding
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your footing and navigating values uh can you give me a thumbs up if you can see my screen can you see my
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screen there we go sweet ass so um thanks very much te thanks all so that's
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what we're here for today we're going to talk about values right and um just to kind of uh welcome everyone here I know
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and want to acknowledge that this is a stressful time for a lot of us across defense both uniform and civilian but
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for many of us civilian Faro um and so I I was sort of just to preface our
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session today I was reminded of some words as a famous psychologist a guy called Martin saligman who introduced
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some of the ideas we're going to talk about today and he wrote a self-help book and in the first sentence of his self-help book was uh there are two
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kinds of self-help books the ones that teach you how to lead a perfect life and the ones who teach you how to live with
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an imperfect one and so uh this this his book and this presentation are very much
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the latter all right there are no Magic Bullets in my experience life does stuff too and throw stuff at you and so uh
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what we're looking for today is to help you to get just to move in the right direction for you
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right and to um help you out in whatever way might be possible and feasible so
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that's what we're going to do today and so in terms of ground rules like I said if you've got any questions check them in the chat or in the Q&A and um Frank
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will nudge them across and put them on my attention if I need if they would if I need to deal with them or address them here and now um otherwise look forward
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to your participation via emojis so my time in defense I've learned that that uh it's good to always
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start with the bottom line up front because sometimes people's attention drifts shock shock horror uh and so the
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bottom line up front for this presentation is nicely captured by this um MTI
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faki right so uh translated that comes to seek the treasure that you value most
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dearly if you bow your head let it be to a lofty m so the idea and one of the key messages
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from will be from today will be in times of trouble it really helps to know what matters to us and how we're going to
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prioritize our time and our and our attention and our energy and our love yep cool so here's what we're going to
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talk about we're going to talk about why having purpose and meaning is important spoiler alert you live longer if you've
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got a clear sense of purpose and meaning how to tell the difference between values and goals and in Western
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communities Western culture we focus very much on objectives and goals but today we're going to focus more on values and I'll talk about what those
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are we're going to talk about the difference between values that you have and the values that the world might have
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kind of told you you should have and and some ideas about how to separate those two for you and we're going to talk
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about some practical things you can do to help live your values and practical things you can do to help clarify your
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values everything I do today or talk about today is googleable and at the end of the session I'll give you a couple of
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kind of if you are the kind of person that likes to kind of read a bit more I'll give you some references you can go to to kind of test ideas and explore
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ideas a bit more cool everything I talk about today is derive from a particular
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approach to mental health and and therapy and well-being called acceptance and commitment therapy or act so if you
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Google acceptance and commitment therapy values for instance you'll get a lot of what we're coming up to up with today or we're going to cover
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today so before we get started would like you to do is on a piece of paper in front of you I'd like you to write down
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three numbers just any three numbers at random between 1 and 100 and I'll just give you
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um 20 seconds just to do that right on a piece of paper in front of you write down three numbers between one and
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100 cool
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okay now what I'd like you to do is next to those three words or beside those three words I just get you to write down
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the word that is on this list so in front of you you should have a rough list of about about 100 uh adjectives or
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descriptives and just write those down whatever three words you picked so you might have picked 73
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organized 85 shy and 37 immature y all
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righty now what I'd like you to do is imagine that it is your 65th birthday
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and all your friends and Faro are gathered around and they are
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um talking about the things that that they treasured and loved and enjoyed
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about you and having you in their life now the things The Impressions that you've left with
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them my question is what if you were remembered as those three things that are on that are written down in front of
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you right some of them might be bad some of them might be neutral some of them might be
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good I'm curious of the three things who who's use the emojis if you're happy with the Emojis give us a thumbs up if
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you're a bit surprised you know or you'd be a bit uncomfortable maybe put the shocked Emoji let's see how let's see
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how we're tracking so what what what did people where did people land with those three some thumbs up some thumbs
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up cool righty so if we the moral of this story
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is if we go through life and we don't make active choices intentional choices about how we want to
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be in the world and the Impressions that we want to live uh leave with the people that matter to us then the universe will
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pick for us life will pick for us and sometimes we won't we won't like or we
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won't they would be other than we would have would have wished so a key kind of message from today is how can you be
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better and more intentional at choosing how you want to be in the world uh
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because that helps with a bunch of stuff if you have a clear sense of who you want to be and how you want to be that
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helps with with a bunch of things so here's what I wanted to do now is go down the list and think about what
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three would I pick if I could pick any three of those are on that list what
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would they be and if there's ones that aren't on the list so for instance um it might be
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um uh courageous right whatever it is but if what are
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three words that at your 65th birthday if the people that were you cared about
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were gathered around and were talking about who you were what would you what would you hope they might say about you
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just write down three words there you might have different words for
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different roles so what would I how would I be as a partner how would I be as a parent how would I be as a leader
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how I be as a human being all right hold on to that thought
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and we will come back to that so values can be helpful for a range of
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reasons and I'll go into some of the research in in in a minute but at a fundamental level all organisms
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including that amoeba on the screen in front of you can do two things they can move away from stuff or they can move
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towards stuff now if we live a life that is dominated
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by things we're moving away from things we don't want to feel things we don't want to have happen if all our choices
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are dominated by what we are avoiding then that gets very stressful our brain
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and body operate differently when we're moving away from stuff and trying to avoid stuff than when we're moving
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towards stuff and engaging in stuff yeah so life a life that includes moves
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toward things include steps towards things that matter to us and tends to be
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more fulfilling and more vital and more and richer that said it's still going to
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include things that are scary sad or frustrating so moving towards your
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values often times will actually lead to a short-term increase in anxiety and
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distress and frustration and sadness right so moving towards with that matter
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to us sometimes lead to an increase in those things more commonly not always but commonly in the short term then that
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dissipates over the long term and so um if you are here to get rid of stress uh
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or to get rid of unwanted thoughts and feelings then this kind of this session isn't going to be a good fit for you if
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you are here to figure out okay how do I move towards the things that matter um
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even in stressful times how do I do do things that are reflect who I want to be
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even in stressful times and difficult times that's more what we're going to talk about
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today um yeah so a value is a chosen quality or
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direction of action that is personally meaningful and guides you to how you
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want to be and how you want to live your life yeah so often times in Western
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culture we speak about go so that's the objective I want this career goal I want
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this family goal I want this financial goal all of those you know the target
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the objective values are more about how I want to conduct myself as I move
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through life uh what are the principles that guide my actions as I move through
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life so how I want to be and who I want to be I'll just pause there for a moment
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and just check has anyone got any questions or anything uh they want to am I rambling am I making
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sense me just check out give me a thumbs up te let's check who's actually listening give me a thumbs up if if
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things make sense so far give me a thumbs down or something else if they
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don't cool
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TR awesome okay we'll keep moving
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so values uh kind of have a number of qualities the first is they're chosen by
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you right so a lot of us grow up and perhaps more importantly they're not chosen by our community or the society
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around us and many of us get a lot of messages about how we should be and who we should be from the society around us
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right so in that you know one of my areas are interest is particularly kind of how masculine values can make
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people's lives harder and easier and and a lot of the time uh men are hold to uh
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and indeed some of our wo within the defense Community uh get the message that expressing their emotions is not is
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not acceptable and so they they suppress that and that gets in the way then maybe
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of other aspects and a richer follow life and other aspects of their lives right so a value is chosen by you it's a
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choice that you make for yourself it's meaningful so it's intrinsically connects to what you care about and
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what's intrinsically interesting to you it's Direction giving so it helps you make choices about what you're going to
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do with your energy and your time um it's flexible which means that it can
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apply across different contexts and it can apply across different um areas of
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your life so for instance if I so for me personally one of my core values is learning I love anything that I that
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helps me to learn I and feel like I'm learning and learning more and developing a sense of getting B better
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at something I T that tends to be intrinsically rewarding for me and so you know I can apply that to my role at
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work that also applies to Parenting with my little girls it applies to my relationship and my marriage and how to
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how to kind of feel like I'm learning within that so a good value that stands out for us tends to apply across
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different contexts and different parts of our life it tends to be relatively enduring so commonly a value um will be
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something that has been important to you throughout most of your life might change a little bit as your as your
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priorities change in life so as you acquire a family there some rebalancing of values
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but but still there's this fundamental thing um that is intrinsically important to you and generally they help you
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they're positive so they give you something to move towards in difficult times so for me to draw on that example
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of learning you know even when I go through challenging times when I face setbacks it helps me
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if I go okay I'm going to learn from this you know whatever else happens outcome may have been unwanted outcome
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may have been um unpleasant and it makes it a bit easier it eases the burden if I
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if I know or if I remind myself how can I learn from this does it make sense
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where so there's a ton of research particularly in the last sort of 20 to 30 Years Around values and what role
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they can play in terms of your will being uh so one of the key things is
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that they can reduce burnout right because what values do is they help you decide what you actually care about and
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what you don't what you can offer a suboptimal solution on and what and what you what you really want to get right
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they also remind us to do things that keep us at our best right so in order to
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live with my values I know I need to invest in some part parts of my life so for me for learning
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um it I I know that I have to kind of put aside some time to reflect and to
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read books and things so that that that then makes me better in the future and
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and I'll make that a priority um they helps navigate complexity for the same sort of reason they reduce anxiety
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although they don't get rid of it but they kind of sometimes help balance out anxiety they give us something that
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basically we become willing to endure anxiety to face anxiety to experience
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anxiety because we're doing that in the service of something that is important to us uh they promote curiosity they
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promote connection so we find it easier human beings find it easier to connect with someone who has a clear sense of
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their values often times they don't have to share the same values as us but if someone's got a clear sense of their
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values that we find it easier to predict them or to relate to them and understand
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kind of where they're coming from so it promotes connection that way and it promotes good genuinely speaking values
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communities that have strong values have clear values community members with strong values tend to just have better
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outcomes does that make any sense so far all righty so they are different from goals
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as I've said they how you want to be not what you want to be and so we've come back to this list here and if there's a
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value that matters to you um that's not on there feel free to write it down but we're going to do a bit of experimenting
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now around some things you can do to uh to explore your values a little a little
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more and also to um um uh make them clearer and take action
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in the service of your values there is a trap for young players though sometimes our values can become
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rules so here's an example of in the military community in the uniform Community how a value can become a rule
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that makes it harder for people to seek help with mental health conditions right so the value of selflessness at its best
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is about placing the welfare of others above your own however what that means
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is that people have a rule where I shouldn't seek help for my own problems because my health is not a prior
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priority so if if uh a value if and a key combat indicator for when a value
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has become a rule an inflexible rule is that it has the word should or must in
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it right I should be be this way I must be this way right when those kind of
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rules come into play in our heads they it tends to close options off or restrict our
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perspective so just to kind of caution their track fing players uh if you are not sure about
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what a value what value if there's uh if you want to explore kind of a list of values more just to go back to this list
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um you can go to there's a survey if you're the kind of person who likes to fill out psychologist surveys and get
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get the findings and that kind of feedback there's a survey called the values and action survey that's free
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it's out of Pennsylvania University you you have to create an ID but you can do it for free um on their website and if
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you Google values and action survey Pennsylvania you'll get it and um that's actually a validated really nicely
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structured way of getting an insight into your values and as an aside um it's
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by that guy Martin Salman that I mentioned before who uh who's talked about living with an imperfect
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life uh cool okay so what I'd like to uh
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what we're talk about now is the importance also of having a sense of how
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your values reflect or are lived across different parts of your life sometimes
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when we're under stress when we're under pressure when there's a lot going on in life we NE we focus all our attention on
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one domain one area of our life and we neglect the other parts of our
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lives for many of us I suspect what we tend to do uh in our organization is we
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focus really heavily on work particularly when we're under pressure and we tend to diminish or lose focus on
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Leisure relationships and personal growth the kind of other key areas of um
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of our of our well-being right so what I want you to do is I've got on the slide
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there pick pick one one domain that is important to you right now and what I'd
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actually get you to do is I want you to pick the domain in your life which you feel like maybe you are living your Val
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your least you are least living your values in that domain at the moment so
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that that value that you picked out before so it might have been so if I use my example kind of learning and love of
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learning if I was to pick the one where I've neglected that the most lately it would probably be leisure right so I
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applied at work all the time I inflict sort of um relationship advice stuff on
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my wife all the time or books on my wife all the time and I read a bunch of books
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related to kind of personal growth and health as well but I don't I haven't really explored learning learning as
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part of my Leisure World lately so that's what I'd like you to do it's in one of those four areas and what I'll
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get you to do is in the chat or in the Q&A and I'll get Frank just to nudge these over as they come in I just want
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you to put for you which of those four areas have you neglected the most lately
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all right which of those four areas are you farthest from your from your values
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in um does that make sense right so check that in the chat and I'll get
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Frank to nudge them over which are those four things do you feel like you have least lived your
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values and what matters to you
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a look going in
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there Frank will get you to start moving those over if you could personal health and growth is one
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Leisure is one a very common one personal growth and health yeah very common
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right relationships lead cool so for a lot of us right now a lot
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of our attention will be on work and that's appropriate and legitimate right that makes perfect sense what I would
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encourage you to do is to start to think about what are some small things that
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you could do to invest in living your values in some of these other parts of your life that you might have neglected
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and the reason for that is that the evidence suggests that if we put all our eggs in one basket and that basket
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starts to get a bit wobbly then our whole sense of self can get really wobbly whereas if we deliberately and
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intentionally invest in living our values in each of these four areas then if one gets wobbly the other three can
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help us maintain a sense of perspective and a sense of um a sense of self yeah
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so one thing to think about is how can you live your values in some of those other areas of your life over the next
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we while Z Maxin can I get some thumbs up or thumbs down um just to get a sense of
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where people are sitting with
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it cool all right so we'll move
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on so one here we move now into some of the Practical things you can do so um
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and again I'll send you the slides and this is the slide you can use if you decide to do this activity so one useful
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exercise that you can do is sit down and set your intentions and create a
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personal ethos as you face whatever challenges are coming coming down the pipeline for you and setting your
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intentions in relation to those challenges so this is based on some research done out of the US looking at
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sort of various um approaches to sort of setting up your values and deepening
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your understanding of your values and the way this works is that you pick a value one might be the one you picked
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before might be one of the ones on the list here that I've provided and you write you sit down with
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a pen and paper or a pad and paper and write just free free form for 10 minutes without stopping about that value and
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I'll put some Reflections in there some reflection questions in there to help you think about that so where my life
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lives this value what does that mean when have I VI violated this value and what does it cost me what have I seen in
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my life life of this this with this value what do other what what do I look like to others when I live this value
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all of those kinds of things and you really do a deep dive and kind of marinade yourself and what this value is
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what it means to you why it's important to you then you summarize that into like one paragraph So you read it back over
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you pull out the highlights the key points and summarize it into one paragraph now that might seem like a
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small thing to do it might take 15 minutes in total but in one study for example out of the US they got students
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who were approaching the the first year of University and they asked them to pick a value that they wanted to bring
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to their study so it might be reliability it might be focus it might be um curiosity whatever it is right and
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they com and they asked um them to do this exercise in relation to that uh
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year of study and then they got another group who they asked to write smart goal so everyone knows what smart goals are
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specific measurable achievable and realistic in time frames and um they uh compared the two
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groups at the end of the year how did each group go uh with its study and the
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group that had done this exercise had reflected on their values did 5% better
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at the end of the year so that's not a that's a whole grade difference that's not a bad that's not a bad return on a
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15minute excise sites right and the reason they did better is because they had spent some time actually figuring
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out who they want to be in relation to this task they were able to in little
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moments over the course of the term make slightly better decisions that reflected those values so they maybe when tempted
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to go out on a Friday night they might stay in or when tempted to have the fourth beer on a Friday night they might
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head home or when tempted to lie in bed and Skip election they might be just a
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bit more likely to get up and go and go to go to class and those kind of things and all those little choices informed by
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this time thinking about their values LED it to a 5% increase in their in
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their grade at the end of the year so quite a tangible impacts yeah so if it's something if this feels like it's
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something you might want to do sit down some time in the next we while and as you're looking toward the challenges
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challenges in front of you wherever they're coming from work home romantic Financial whatever and set your own
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intentions and see see what might make sense for you yeah
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cool and it's all about these little small steps so one of the one of the
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themes throughout these sessions these lunchtime sessions over the next couple of weeks will be uh making small steps
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we're not after big hey audacious goals we're after doing little things and making little changes that add up over
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time and so now I'm going to introduce a little tool that helps you do that right
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plan for those little changes um and so the this is a short video from a guy called Russ Harris and
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I'll give a reference to some of his stuff later on in the session but I'll just to introduce this idea of this tool
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that you might use for navigating challenges or difficult periods in your life um I'm going to show you a short
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video
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[Music] all day long humans do
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things even if it's just sleeping now some things we do move us
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towards the sort of life we want when we're behaving like the sort of person we want to be doing things that make
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life richer full and more meaningful we can call these towards moves now other things we do move us
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away from the life we want to live when we're acting ineffectively behaving
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unlike the sort of person we want to be doing things that tend to make life worse in the long term we can call these
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away moves now when things are going well when life is giving us what we want it's
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pretty easy for us to choose towards moves to act effectively doing stuff that makes life richer and more
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meaningful but unfortunately life just isn't that easy most of the time and it
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doesn't give us what we want for very long so as we go about our day all sorts
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of difficult situations and difficult thoughts and feelings will arise we may
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experience emotions such as worry we may catastrophize predict the worst we may
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have thoughts popping up that I'm not good enough I'm a loser I'm a failure life sucks it's all too
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hard now unfortunately we easily get hooked by those difficult thoughts and
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feelings and almost every psychological problem from Stress and Anxiety to
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depression and addiction boils down to this basic process we get hooked by
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difficult thoughts and feelings and we do away moves however there are times when most
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of us are able to unhook from these difficult thoughts and feelings and choose towards moves instead and the
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better we get at doing this the better life gets so that's what this approach
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is all about we're going to bring in some helpers to help you get a lot
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better at choosing towards moves as a first step we're going to help you
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identify your values who you care about what matters to you what sort of person
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you want to be and use those values to guide and Inspire and motivate at you to
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do more towards moves and we're also going to develop unhooking skills so you
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can get a lot better and a lot faster at unhooking yourself from all those
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difficult thoughts feelings emotions and memories the more we develop our ability
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to unhook and choose those towards moves that really matter deep in our heart the
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greater our quality of life the greater our health happiness and well-being
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great so that's sort of foreshadows some of the some of the um content we're
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going to discuss over the next couple of weeks as well right last week we talked about dealing with some worry and stuff
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like that and we're going to um touch on some of those other skills that can help us unhook and step back from those
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unhelpful patterns but there Russ talked about the choice point right noticing
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this moment when we can get pulled into things things that are unhelpful things that are move us away from the things
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that matter to us and how we can choose at that moment to to move towards with
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things now um Russ has very helpfully put together a little worksheet or a little one page here where you can come
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up with a plan so that's what I thought we might do for a little for the next five or so minutes is work through um Co
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using that choice point to come up with a bit of a plan for moments that work for us right so so what I want you to do
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is just think about as you sit there for a moment think about when is a small but
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difficult moment coming up for you when you might want to live your values right
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so don't make it like a 10 out of 10 we're not after a real stressful high stakes one I'm after like a little five
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out of 10 you know something that can be a bit tricky it's not overwhelming though so for me and the example we'll
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see later for me I was just thinking this morning uh you know I'm going home tonight from work and uh Friday night is
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takeaway night in the coy household but my two children refuse to have shared
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opinions about what is the best form of takeaway so almost every Friday we have a standoff whether it's fish and chips
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or pizza and so um it gets stressful they squabble they start and then I
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notice that and I start to kick off so or I get frustrated and I notice myself wanting to sometimes do away moves so
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that's an example of the kind I want you to pick one for you what's a small little moment coming up for you where
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you would like to be able to practice living your values and come up with a bit of a plan
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for living your values everyone clear is that making
34:46
sense cool okay sweet
34:54
is so um again now I'll put um a copy of
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this in the uh chat later on um but uh let's just talk it through right so this
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is Russ Harris's Choice point so if we use that example that I just gave and you can do this perhaps even on a bit of
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paper in front of you one of the great things about the choice point is you're only a couple of hours away from having a plan so pick the challenging situation
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and just write a little bit about kind of sitting the scene right here is the situation here's what here's what what
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the context that I walk into that I know can trip me up sometimes so for me it's
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coming home finding a kid squabbling about some random issue now what I
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know is that uh I get grumpy and I have
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unkind thoughts about my kids why can't they be more grateful why can't they just get along why is this such a big deal why do
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we have this drama every time etc etc all those thoughts come kind of crowd in
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right and they start to and I can feel myself getting frustrated and the urge to kind of do things that don't reflect
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who I want to be as a dad so things like that might be I growl at the kids um
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which might work in the short term like it might stop the squabbling but it tends to make things worse in the long
36:18
term right it's a buzz kill for the evening it gets in the way of them kind of telling me about their week and all
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that kind of stuff it doesn't it's not the kind of approachable friendly warm and cuddly dad that I try I'm trying to
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be so what I do is I think about well what are the values that I want to bring to being a dad and for me it's like
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being patient right being patient and being warm and approachable for me I
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think that's really that's really important for me for who I am as a dad uh and who I want to be anyway and so I
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have to think make beig explicit to myself about that and then I come up with a plan for what I'm going to do to
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be that Dad in tricky moments uh and so one of the and this is an idea I actually got from a client is uh I'm
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going to go home tonight and I'm going to start a Nerf fight because there there is no way my kids can stay grumpy
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if they're ganging up on me at a Nerf fight a Nerf War uh and then also now it's a great way of Shifting energy and
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so then once we've done that uh we've had a bit of fun and we've set the tone for kind of enjoying one another then
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then we can sit down and have a conversation about okay let's decide how we're going to do takeaways tonight once the energy and the tension have
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disapparated all right so here's what I would like you to do I'm going to give you um um 30 minute 30 seconds a minute
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or so just to kind of come up with your own little plan so for yourself uh for your scenario the thing you want to do
37:49
just a bit better you want to live your values just a bit better draw that do take a moment just to just to put in a
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few um a few points in each of those down in front of you so what shows up for you on
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the left what you what you notice the thoughts and feelings are what what you tend to do what
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actions follow those thoughts and feelings whether they serve you or not
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whether they're consistent with your values or not put those down Sometimes some shame or some guilt
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or whatever we sh there as well and then have a think of about okay in that moment what value is important
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to you whatever it is it might be compassion it might be focus it might be
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courage it might be connection whatever it is and then think about what are you
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going to do with your hands and your feet and your energy and your attention
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what are you going to do differently to to to live and work and
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be in the direction of your values you know what are you going what is it going to look like to live that value in that
39:03
moment cool okay and now I'd encourage you to take
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that home and give it a go or wherever it is that you're planning on doing it go forth and give it a punch now no plan
39:16
lasts um uh past contact with the Enemy so who knows how this will go with my
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kids and uh who knows how your plan will go but and I no this from having talked
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to a lot of people and working through this with a lot of people doing little things coming up with little plans like
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this won't work every time but it might work some of the time for some people for some problems and sometimes that's
39:40
enough to make a difference yeah cool okay so we're coming up on the end of
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our time so we've talked about a few things today I've talked about why having purpose and meaning and values
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are important makes for better physical health better Mental Health wealth and
39:58
actually richer Fuller lives you know stronger connections with the people around you we've talked a bit about how
40:03
to tell the difference between values and goals values are qualities of action
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they're principles that guide our actions across a range of contexts potentially whereas goals are concrete
40:17
markers which are important sometimes and useful sometimes and and and we
40:23
value them a lot or we they're very important to us in the Western World in particular however when we can't control our
40:31
environment being fixated on goals can be problematic whereas we can generally
40:37
find a way to live our values even if that is difficult or frustrating or anxiety inducing across a range of
40:44
different contexts talked about how to tell the difference between your values and the values that people of society has put
40:51
kind of given you and sometimes that's just you feel tired and flat when you think about those things right and then
40:57
I've given you a couple of kind of practical things you can go do atttention setting so doing that little personal ethos and a choice Point
41:05
exercise and both of those things again are very googleable so you can you can look into those in more detail and you
41:11
can also check out the values and action survey on the Pennsylvania University website if um if you feel like that is
41:19
something that might be useful to help you get a better sense of your values and what and what might be important to
41:25
you and what might be intrinsically rewarding for you across contexts
41:31
cool um everything I've talked about today is so you can revisit and in these
41:37
resources here so mindfulness and acceptance for Stress Management your local library is likely to have that
41:43
have a copy of that or at least have an e copy of it on their e platform uh the happiness trap and the reality slap are
41:49
both by Russ Harris that guy on the video from before uh and they're really practical little resources to read um if
41:57
you going through a big change or if life has kind of swiped you from the um from the side then the reality slap is a
42:04
good book uh in that Russ Harris talks about his own Journey uh having his his son diagnosed with autism spectrum
42:10
disorder um but it applies to all sorts of different challenges and then the last one the the subtle art of not
42:16
giving a a hoot is um uh a good one if
42:21
uh you like good practical sensible advice and guidance
42:27
uh The Immortal words of Yoda there try not do or do not there is no try so just
42:35
reading stuff doesn't make a difference it's when you actually do things differently try different things
42:41
experiment with different ideas and approaches that is actually when you'll learn and get a better sense of what
42:47
works for you and what doesn't so I'd give you I'd encourage you to give it a punt and be and be
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courageous so that's kind of all the slides I had for you team and kind of all the commentary for today uh we got a
42:59
bit of time so if anyone does want to kind of Chuck some questions in their Q&A then please feel free to do that
43:07
otherwise um uh I'll let you get back to to your day um but thanks very much team
43:14
I appreciate your time keep an eye on the on the Q&A just
43:20
as as I wait as we sit here
43:28
here we
43:33
go oh yeah Frank's just reminded us I'll put some stuff and um we'll put he'll
43:39
put some we'll put some stuff online available um either on the health or both on the health Hub and and um uh on
43:46
internet as well
43:55
cool all the best team close things off there hey look I know this is once again
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I know it's a hard time for folk and I'm hope this has been a little bit helpful uh and
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also um I wish you all the best for your weekend and and don't forget to enjoy all those domains of your life right use
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this time to reconnect with Pho use the weekend to do something you love to do for leisure use it to invest in your
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health and your wellbeing uh cool all right folk I'll
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catch you later thanks very much