Hero Hug

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so the hero hug is going to be your new
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favorite hug and it's a really easy
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a few simple adjustments to what you
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might already do but um it really hacks
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the brain in some pretty amazing ways to
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help create a sense of safety and
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connection with your partner and a
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really good opportunity to connect and
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to read your partner's body and to send
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some pretty cool signals to them while
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you're doing them so it's pretty simple
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the uh the guy initiates it by
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stretching his arms wide uh and to
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create a space and the smile is good and
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then mano is going to walk walk towards
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luke and come into the hug
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in most cases if the woman is shorter
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she's going to do that by putting his
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hands under under his hand and what
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she's not going to do and we'll show you
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the bad version here is to step in in
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the hug
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and try and do something like this
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because as you can see if you hold that
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hug just a little bit longer
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so
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as you can see in this position
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manu's off off-balance uh luca's leaning
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over his necks under stress his backs
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under street is not a position that they
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can hold for a really long time so if we
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go back to the original hug so they they
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step into the hug and what luke is doing
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here is he's reaching one of his hands
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around to cradle the back of
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manu's head and this is really powerful
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because it basically activates the baby
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brain and creates a sense of security
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and safety uh in the relationship uh
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manu's uh closing her eyes as she's able
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to relax if she did feel anxious for
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some reason she might start off with her
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eyes open and until she was ready to um
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to just take a deep breath and just try
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relaxing into it bearing in mind if she
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had feelings that came up of feeling
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unsafe or anxious she could open her
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eyes at any point in time and just um
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and lean back into the connection and um
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connect with gays until she was ready to
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come back into the connection and come
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back into the hug
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so um because every couple is going to
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be you know different sides of different
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shapes the the key thing that we're
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looking for here is a comfortable
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position that can be held for a period
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of time luke's legs are slightly
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bent at the knees so that there's a
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so it's a kind of relaxed position and
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you'll notice that they are actually
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swaying slightly um and so there's a
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natural rhythm that will occur there
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the second uh thing that luke's going to
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do with his other hand so one hand is
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holding uh the back of manu's head the
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other hand once uh manu is comfortably
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in position he's going to squeeze her in
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and and draw her quite firmly in towards
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herself now that towards himself now
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that may feel slightly counter-intuitive
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but basically what it does is it um
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unconsciously affirm um to to manu that
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he's available to her that his strength
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is available to her and that she's safe
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within that space the other thing that
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it will also do is it will give him a
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pretty accurate read of her stress
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levels so if they've come home from work
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and they're doing the the hero hug at
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that point in time and manu's back is
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tight and all linked up and stuff he's
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going to know that she's had a bad day
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and so unconsciously he's able to uh all
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consciously now he's able to uh to
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register that and and that's then going
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to set him up to
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come out of the hug and say something
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like wow tough day and you know money
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can say yeah it was and so that's going
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to set them up and he has all of that
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information within 15 seconds of the hug
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so he's holding her and again the the
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next stage after this once manu is is
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really relaxed and he's holding it nice
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and firmly um he's going to
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shift down and this could be a little
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bit of a challenge for luke because he's
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quite a lot taller than money but
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ideally he's going to bring him to some
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kind of contact with her with his chin
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or his face and he's going to take a
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deep breath in and just take breathe out
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and go
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[Music]
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now this will feel very weird the first
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few times you're doing it but when he
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does it what it's going to do is send a
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harmonic through manu's body and again
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this is uh
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targeting her unconscious and
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subconscious brain sending a message to
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her nervous system that she's safe she's
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held she's loved and
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and so that can be really powerful and
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so as you can see here luke may um
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may stay in contact like that but you
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know ideally his eyes are closed but
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he's just going to be in charge of
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looking after her holding that space and
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he's going to do that until manu is
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ready to step
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out of the out of the connection and
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when he feels her sort of uh start to
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relax and to step back then he'll
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release her they'll shift into gaze gaze
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contact
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and um
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and then you know this is an opportunity
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where people may eye kiss or smile or
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you know laugh or you know do whatever
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they do at that point in time
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and um and so that's normally how a hero
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hug would end there is a bonus
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feature that is available for the
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pursuers and so if they're they're in
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the hug and that's finished there's a
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really cool thing that they can um do
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and that is if um as manu's stepping out
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of the hug that she can slide her hands
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down over luke's back and over his butt
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and
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and this is really cool because it
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activates
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where men tend to carry a lot of their
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stress on their lower back and and
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there's also a major pleasure center
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around there and it's also a proprietary
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hug in that it's not a hug that she's
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doing with anyone else so it's a way to
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send a signal to your partner that
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your special we're in a primary
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relationship
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and
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it's an affirmation of primacy
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you