Connecting over a cuppa

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um oh let's get it I'll get out um now
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um I feel like panelists to present uh to introduce themselves shortly but uh just to introduce Sarah team one of our
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integrated Wellness advisors she's sitting uh running running the backstage stuff today so um so thanks very much
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for that Sarah and for checking for arranging all of this stuff so very much position today
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um where they cut a care and then we'll get into the kaupapa so uh just uh take
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a moment
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cool so that's uh one of my favorite whakatoki and and the sentiment
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age each phrases
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uh feels kind of a prone to get into other words we can do and also for the other people around us which is kind of
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going to be a focus for today so I will um that
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Pips I'll start off with a sort of why this matters and then we'll get our panelists briefly to introduce
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themselves so um the reason that connection is a key part of mental health awareness week is
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because there's a lot of research one of the most important things when it
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comes to wellbeing mental health is connection with other human beings we're a Navy family dog if that you know if
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[Music] what allows us to survive and thrive is the ability
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to work with others to have other people cover our back and to collaborate together and be and work on life
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challenges together that's out the secret of our success it's our city the power as human beings and so we evolve
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need to belong we are and and so when we don't feel connected to people around us
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when we don't feel like we belong to the people around us or we're not part of the team that is really stressful for human beings when we feel alone that is
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really stressful for human beings and we know from some of our research
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and and surveys that were done with our people that a good portion of our service members even though we exist in
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a team environment even though we are such you know camaraderie is so such a cool part of our way of operating that
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there are people who don't feel connected to those around them so
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um so this theme for today connection is really important and what we thought we'd do today is talk to some of our
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really experienced service members one from each service just to get their perspective on you know what it looks
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like uh when it's done well what helps and tips and tricks that you've seen so that's what we're going to talk about for the next few while
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uh subscribe TV guys here I'll get you guys to introduce yourselves I might just go around kind of my Brady Bunch
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screen on Zoom and give you to introduce yourself so so
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Kathy if you wouldn't mind starting off uh
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to those that have tuned in are welcome uh it's a real privilege actually to be
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asked to visit on this panel this morning and talk about mental health mental wealth uh health and well-being
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um
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so the cultural advisor to the chief of Defense Force
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and I work out a defense house and um we'll get into that a little bit more
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about the connections with individuals later on in the webinar
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awesome Kathy thank you Mr Crosby
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Crosby because
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of the mental health in today's session about their connection because we all
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appreciate that having a connection with your teams and your team members your loved ones as a vital component towards
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uh physical health but more so mental health so um
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awesome thanks and Mr Mooney
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Mr many
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okay as many as cameras not working and now
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wondering if this is Mike is working this morning oh there we go that sounds like uh the camera's not working
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uh can you hear me so uh apologies the technical issues
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eating um and I wanted to gospel mini currently the Brigade command size major stepping
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in place this morning for the advertised uh Mr Carter called the currently unable
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to make it but I feel quite privileged to be part of this chat this morning so uh thank
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you for allowing me to engage in I look forward to some of the discussions
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awesome thanks so that's great so um it's great to have you all here so much
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wisdom and experience in the room so it's humbling for myself as well so I'd
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be interested just kind of as an opening opening question and query for the panel and anyone can jump on this one first of
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all um but I'd be really interested in your perspective on what difference it makes
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when teams and units uh and individuals make the effort to connect with each
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other and build that sense of connection now what have you seen from your experience about the difference in that
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so I guess I'll I'll start they went over probably a statement just to reinforce
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um some of the good that you're talking about too but I'm sort of leaning on towards that great leaders
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um you know they don't necessarily have to lead by example um they lead for a connection
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um most of the time you hear about people saying if they want to be the kind of leader to uh get people to take
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action on on activities and tasks you have to set a good example um so that that's don't get me wrong that's a
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really important characteristic leadership um and that statement is very true but the long-term success of a leader
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um is in my opinion is is that leadership through connection
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um which is really important to get you know the connection with the people in the workforce um authentically
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um to get stuff done through good leadership oh yeah I love
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that it's a sustainable leadership is kind of about that ongoing connection yeah it makes perfect sense yeah yeah
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I killed uh just to add to that um I like the analogy that leadership is at
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all levels so as a young recruit looking to
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um whoever you think is a leader on your recruit course is the same when you're at Lac or a Corporal or a sergeant who
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are the leaders at that level that you were looking up to that you will try to emulate within that rank structure and
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then you build that As you move up The Rinks but I like the
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connectiveness um that your rank brings you first and then as you progress through your
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career leadership starts with yourself and then watching others and learning
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off others in your own rank structure and then looking up
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nice nice so sort of we can all connect and kind of lead lead through connection
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there they really have all right perfect scenes yeah if somebody jump in there
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so for those online that maybe are listening and know me they know my background and uh
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come from a very uh competitive sporty background but one of the main benefits
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I think of sports and as Future Leaders we need to promote Sports as our ability to connect at all
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levels irrespective or whatever level of sport or social engagement or Community engagement you're involved in
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the ability to connect in a different environments can just assist your well-being and assist you
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within our own developments a very real critical component in that I think as
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leaders and there's I think just briefly it's been discussed already ability as Leaders to influence those
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connections I think in sport and sports is one one Avenue one medium that we can
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achieve that yeah so for me it's something I'm sort of focusing on at the moment as well thank you
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so that's about okay because it's any group that's just not
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um your day-to-day job the sports is another Avenue um culture groups are another Avenue
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dance groups are another Avenue um yeah this
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yeah lots of places for connection and I think the wider connections that you
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have don't just stay within your own rank whether you're in your own service and you've got to be quite Broad
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yeah yeah um completely agree and it's it's for us
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as as leaders and managers um to encourage it rugby Juniors of Voters
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um you know we and Craig that that environment that safe space where people feel safe
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um when they feel safe don't feel valued um the important thing I guess I'm trying to aim at is to eliminate that
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loneliness um piece as well where people just feel so isolated within their own spaces then
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you know the the organization um is is a place of inclusiveness
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um where people feel any concerns are taken quite seriously so um absolutely connection through a wider variety and
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through leadership again it all comes like the leadership is to push out and encourage others to get out and amongst
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it now both inside the wires of cancer basis but also outside as well
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sounds good
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follow up on a point there you know that point about loneliness and kind of eliminating loneliness so I'm really
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interested in you guys perspectives on kind of how you notice that and and what you might do kind of one-on-one with
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people now to to address it or eliminate it or kind of play a role in in supporting someone
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who might be know me so what do you notice and what do you do what's your what's your top tips
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yeah um so again you know those that are in your immediate command or immediate
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teams and what you you know characteristics about individuals and and about the makeup and what makes
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people work um so I guess that's a good start and and in order to better know that and understand that you've got to connect
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with them authentically um you know you may hold a certain Rank and we've got to understand and appreciate that ranking position doesn't
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necessarily have energy connection to to your team you've got to earn that um and then where to earn that is yes
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get away from technology get out from behind your desks and go and do the pressure stuff as well so you know just
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interaction through interaction um and uh you know asking them things
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about stuff um authentically um to create that relationship create that connection
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um and I think you will pick up when things aren't quite right through behaviors and characteristics
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I think any other any other comments on that can I hear you notices what do you do yeah look um I actually absolutely
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agree with that um for me it's about knowing your people knowing who's in your team
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um and knowing a bit more than surface level so as a leader it's about being invested
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and knowing about who your people are and what makes them tick um when you get to know them you'll be
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able to tell when you walk into the crew room or when you're having a coffee
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what they display and it can be all just in a look at them you know so you've got to be invested in
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your people but know your people know what makes them tick and and certainly
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understand that if their behavior is different something's going on
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that's what I can remember when I when I was um at a unit at a base level but that also
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applies to where I'm in the office now in an office environment and you will
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normally have the collective people that are around you and you will notice the updates and you will also notice their
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their down days if you feel like you've connected especially the ones that are close around you so it's about not just
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asking how you are and then you've been giving the a year on okay that's going oh actually would
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you like to go over here and have a chat you know if you've got some time today let's catch up it's just going another
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level then but you're certainly watching People's behaviors
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yeah okay I'm not saying
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that's a really good point and I just want to sort of echo that and amplify a little bit more and that there was a
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program that came out during the year and it's got ouk um you know and and so that we heard a
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lot about around the cancer bases and all that um but then again there's you've got to go a little bit deeper behind that to
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really figure it out because it may not be impacting them directly but it's the the other stuff around on that's
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happening in their life that that may be um some sort of loss of connection or some stuff going in
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um in the background that has an impact on that person you've just had a year okay or what's up or how's it
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so yeah good point and it's also to acknowledge that it's
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okay sometimes not to be okay you can't be a hundred percent cookie
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the person in the office that lifts everybody up and you know people have their own stuff going on and that's all
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right as well and some people might go oh no I don't want to talk about it at the moment but it's the or when you're
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ready to or if you'd like to think I'm here just those types of conversations
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from my perspective too as as leaders and just the fact that we're in the
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military we do have a responsibility to to engage with our people at all levels
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both up and down and command chains and be engaged with them um I know that sometimes sometimes the
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higher you get up the rank channels it can become quite difficult but then that's the senior leaders to be able to
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you know maybe uh not just reach down but but don't don't be afraid to get out
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there and engage with the people and understand the lay of the land and see what's going on talk to everyone and
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then unstuck then start to identify what are the themes around the units the formations the components Etc and then
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just see you know what's happening out there within his future in his leaders ourselves you know then we have a
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responsibility to see how we can um improve some of those environments so
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that people feel they are comfortable enough to to you know whatever it is engage with
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people um and just you know feel like how comfortable and safe enough that they
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can uh you know like say engage and and talk and communicate
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um so that you know we're not having to try and deal with the sad end or the unfortunate product of the situation uh which is often is
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the case yeah yeah awesome I just want to make
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one more comment um I find that some of our senior leaders are the ones
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that I watch more closely because they carry so much yes
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yes um and sort of an alignment to that
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um even General even at home as a father as a parent as a partner or even as a leader you don't necessarily have to
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have the answers sometimes they just want to be hurt you don't have to provide them with them
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just listen um that's a great it's a great transition
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point to uh like top tips and tricks I think that's a trap that people really fall into quite a lot is and you know
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we're problem solvers by Nature so so we we forget to kind of listen and
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just be there with people and we start leaping to the solution straight away without kind of connecting to the situation first I'm wondering what are
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the kind of top tips and TR uh tips and tricks with you guys you know from your experience have you seen work well in
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terms of connection and building connections we've had a few already like Mr Mooney talking about Sport and other
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things and uh and kanohikiti kanohi you know um meeting people face to face
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getting away from your computer and things so I'm just curious what other tips and tricks would you give leaders
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and team members for building Connections in the workplace
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um as a quick example
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um I found something during um in our office in the office of CDF and each week or each day we have the
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quiz three o'clock you know that's a stand to come together have the quiz have a have
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a cup of tea have a laugh um during the weekend Maori
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um I wrote down five queries uh in Maori for our team
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to ponder and maybe learn um through that
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they asked gee can we keep this going
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and it was enjoyable because they were learning
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something different as well um but they wanted to keep their they want something like that
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keep going forward so the connectiveness and our team got a little bit another level down
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it was really interesting um they've embraced it um they're enjoying it
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um and that's everyday things that we talk about which is helping them learn too so
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that through that connection that that's more connection after the main quiz we've just become a little bit tighter
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as a unit yeah it was really good it was great exercise
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okay so I'll jump in here too I think if uh
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sorry all these apologies again for the camera but uh some of the initiatives
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that we're launching here within the Brigade and and amazingly enough and it's quite
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awesome as some of these have been driven from the bottom up as opposed to the top down and that's what's been
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really impressive uh people wouldn't end up asking to raise to do things and like
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some examples here um you know we've got uh our own cultural sort of advisor per se within within
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Linton for example running um optional to the old classes
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because we've got our cultural center and and amazingly enough the uptake has been has been awesome
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um our gym as well as just running the standard uh you know the PT classes and
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the rest are taking the initiative and running additional activities bringing people in you know something as simple
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as a yoga class uh relaxation class uh you know trying to cater for sort of all
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walks of life um you know even even in the bars you know as as the bars are trying to be
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different we're running quiz nights and you know and not not alcohol-centric not you know just community-based type
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activities um family including family you know encouraging uh you know family nights
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family barbecues family lunches those type of things um rural community-based type activities
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and even even inside the community and that's at that sort of community level but even internally at the units uh
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because there's a great example you know take 10 minutes put your pens down turn
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your screens off going to the smoker room and engage for 10 minutes you know and of course and
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have a bit of a laugh and and then the rest but that's one of the things for me it's been impressive is uh you know a
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lot of people have identified some of the issues out there but rather than sit back and wait they're driving the change they're
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driving the initiative and Leadership we're just stepping in and you know providing them some of the means to help
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support them whether it be Financial you know or whatever it is so this was really impressive for me
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and you know it's it's exactly the same concept um that are happening north of the
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bombays at the Naval Base as well it's it's just everywhere we need to we need to recover that sense of
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um uh Community not only within our own ranks and and um uniform Personnel but
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our all of our partners um our family members as well bringing them in bringing them close creating it
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strengthening that that sense of community um you know sort of right across the whole whole system and all that to um
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and here we've got Sports we've got barbecues going um quizzes um yoga all the traditional PT sessions
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that are going on to get people physically um prepared uh as as well but also the
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bespoke ones like um the yoga classes and and everything
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else that sort of matches all that so great um to bring you know we've we've
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targeted both Community um spaces and we've put a lot of effort into that to allow that together
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um strengthen and and continue as well because these massive amount of value in there
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um bringing everyone back together again hasn't been easy but we're getting there that's awesome I love those and their
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idea of community and bringing in also blending you know whanau and Military and bringing those two worlds together
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outside of you know social work uh social connections outside of work stuff and it's I think those are the things
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that makes people like people's lives a bit richer right so that's awesome I'm curious any other kind of little
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tips and tricks for building connections that you might suggest to people like kind of you know
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those little any little little things that you guys do personally to help cultivate connection
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yeah um a couple from me would be show appreciation um although it can be you know sort of
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as a leader we can be quite blinded to that just a quick thank you and all this goes a long way
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um show interest in people um be unique and authentic
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um remember what matters to them um it may not matter to you but it certainly matters to them so just be
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aware of that um and and simple things like saying people's names instead of their rank
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just to build their connection as as a leader um yeah there's a couple of things that
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I always keep in the back of my mind yeah there's awesome oh those are awesome and we're on Cosby thank you
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Crosby what are the things I do is uh one of the things I do here is
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if I'm required to go to a unit visit a unit uh whether it be here anywhere within the Brigade or around if I can I
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will walk I will I will sorry soldiers don't walk me much I will March there so
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um you know and while on the while I'm making my way to that to the unit
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I'm pulling people aside you know I can see them look down look away and they duck into the to the shadows and Corners
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as I'm heading around the place but don't be afraid to pull them out have a chat just say hello asking how the day
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is engage and then carry on takes about 30 seconds and then you move on and then you know you're going you go and sort of
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uh hijack another Soldier somewhere but um that's one of the things I do as I walk around the place as opposed to
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driving it might take a little bit more of my time but sometimes the benefits are worth a lot worth the time
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yeah awesome uh just a couple of quick things from me
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um there's attention to self
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yeah so for me um it's about how I start my day
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and then the next intention for me is individual attention when I'm on a
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one-on-one situation that I um that I am Tikka and puno
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and the things that I do take them in doing the right thing um doing what's appropriate being honest and genuine and
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sincere when engaging with other people but the biggest one I try to do
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is that monarchitama so that's the demonstrate respect and generosity and care of others
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so if we start off with the right intention at the beginning of the day and smile
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you know a quick one I walked into work the other morning and um the PSI to senior I walked in and I was
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smiling and he goes oh gee what's happened with you and I went well it's a good day you know and I said if you
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smile then hopefully the rest of the people in the office around you smile as well so it's about self-intention as
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well and what you're willing to go from what you think of
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you I'm going to come come back to that technology I think I've mentioned it a
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little bit before is don't hide behind the technology get out and and connect face to face with people
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um what I said through it builds a connection um so connecting to people is not a
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project or anything like that with the best software um it's something that has to be worked on it's about putting people in
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relationships at the core of what we do and I think getting better at it um and it builds you know Fosters a
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better cultures along and you know if you get there right um I think you'll see better outcomes
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being delivered Mission success so to speak
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talking I just got one more thing to add and um someone that taught me Glen King that I
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worked with he taught me he's a walker he's a walker on the floors and then he'll be off I used to be on
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the third floor and then they'd come down chat and engage and I thought yeah that's really great and then I was like
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oh my God here comes Glenn oh he'll talk for about another half an hour that'll put me behind in my
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work oh my gosh but I see the value when I went up to it next to me next to him
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in the office of CDF and the value that that brings to our
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mahi is actually walking the floors and going to talk to individuals as opposed
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to the email as opposed to ringing on the phone that's really powerful it
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really is
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any final comments for anyone around any last tips and tricks
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get out and connect yeah get off your screen
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um [Music] um don't change what you do at work when
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you come home to your whanau you know you've got to have that one-on-one with your individual whanau
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members as well as collectively so don't do one thing at home and then
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one thing at work it has to be innate in you that you do it all the time
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but around your whanau um because you're away from them so much more the I think and I'm I'm in the
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situation where I'm not living with my family certainly one-on-one attention to my
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children my grandchildren and my husband and then we can when we can that's that
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Collective attention that they will need yeah so that's yeah I think that's a
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really I hear that a lot Kathy and people I talk to you know like they they intentionally kind of lead at work but
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when they come home they're kind of tired and so they switch off that and and it becomes easier to forget to make
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the intentional about your connections at home as well and that takes a toll on the long term
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okay hey look those are some great first of all thanks to you all for for your wisdom and and for your um and your
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offerings really appreciate it you know um there's nothing uh that is as useful
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as experience and so it's great to be able to draw on I won't say how many years of experience we have in the room
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but but it's great to have you all here um and thanks to those who dialed in as
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well um look look uh I guess to round off mental
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health when uh this kind of that with this topic for mental health awareness week you know I hope that
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um people have found something useful out of this that they can take into the rest of the day whether it's just you know uh we might have asked you to miss
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a quiz but maybe go for the afternoon quiz as a team or whatever it is um or you know just walking from place
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to place and and smiling and greeting the people that you bump into along the way those small things can make a big
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difference in the long run right and particularly you know noticing those that are or might be isolated or pulling
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away or kind of sitting on the outside of things you know and in particularly engaging with those folk because you
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know we're now in defense that that we're a team-based organization but but sometimes people don't feel like they're in the team so so let's do what we can
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to help with that um all right so I think kind of that's uh everything we wanted to cover for
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their short short cup of tea today and um so thanks once again to our panelists
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um and uh if everyone is okay with that I'll say she'll cut a key to close things off and let everyone get back to
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the day or their or their quiz for whatever it is that they're going for another one thanks