Is social media hurting your mental health?

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Translator: MARIA TIAKA Reviewer: Peter van de Ven
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I'm fat.
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Wow, I'm fat.
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She's only nineteen years old, what am I doing with my life?
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Hey! Two likes! Nice.
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Do I like this photo?
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Does she really need more likes?
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I hope I'm going to be invited to the wedding.
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One more like, nice!
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Welcome to the internal monologue of a typical social media scroll.
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A monologue that so many of us have every day,
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but we don't think about it, we don't talk about it.
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In fact, many of us can't even recognize it happening.
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I'm Bailey Parnell,
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and I will discuss the unintended consequences
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social media is having on your mental health.
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I will show you what's stressing you out every day,
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what it's doing to you,
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and how you can craft a better experience for yourself online.
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Just over a year ago,
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my sister and I took a four-day vacation to Jasper, Alberta.
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This was the first no-work vacation I had taken in four years.
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On this vacation, I was going dark.
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I was turning on airplane mode, no email and no social media.
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The first day there,
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I was still experiencing phantom vibration syndrome.
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That's where you think your phone went off,
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and you check and it didn't.
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I was checking incessantly.
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I was distracted in conversation.
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I was seeing these gorgeous sights Jasper had to offer,
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and my first reaction was to take out my phone
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and post it on social.
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But of course it wasn't there.
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The second day was a little bit easier.
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You might be thinking I'm ridiculous,
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but I hadn't been completely disconnected in over four years.
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This was practically a new experience again.
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It wasn't until the fourth day I was there
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that I was finally comfortable without my phone.
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I was sitting with my sister, literally on the side of this mountain,
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when I started thinking to myself:
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"What is social media doing to me?
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What is it doing to my peers?"
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That was only four days, and it was anxiety-inducing,
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it was stressful and it resulted in withdrawals.
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That's when I started to ask questions
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and have since started my master's research into this subject.
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I've worked in social marketing primarily in higher education
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for most of my career.
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That means I work with a lot of 18- to 24-year-olds,
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which also happens to be
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the most active demographic on social media.
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The other thing you need to know about me
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is that I'm young enough to have grown up with social media,
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but just old enough to be able to critically engage with it
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in a way that twelve-year-old me probably couldn't.
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My life is social media: personally, professionally and academically.
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If it was doing this to me, what was it doing to everyone else?
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I immediately found out I wasn't alone.
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The center for collegiate mental health found that the top three diagnoses
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on University campuses are anxiety, depression and stress.
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Numerous studies from the US, Canada, the UK, you name it,
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have linked this high social media use
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with these high levels of anxiety and depression.
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But the scary thing is that high social media use
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is almost everyone I know:
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my friends, my family, my colleagues.
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90% of 18- to 29-year-olds are on social media.
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We spend on average two hours a day there.
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We don't even eat for two hours a day.
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70% of the Canadian population is on social media.
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Our voter turnout isn't even 70%.
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Anything we do this often is worthy of critical observation.
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Anything we spend this much time doing has lasting effects on us.
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So let me introduce you
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to four of the most common stressors on social media,
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that if go unchecked
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have potential to become full-blown mental health issues,
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and this is by no means an exhaustive list.
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Number one: the Highlight Reel.
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Just like in sports,
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the highlight reel is a collection of the best and brightest moments.
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Social media is our personal highlight reel.
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It's where we put up our wins, or when we look great,
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or when we are out with friends and family.
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But we struggle with insecurity
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because we compare our behind-the-scenes
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with everyone else's highlight reels.
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We are constantly comparing ourselves to others.
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Yes, this was happening before social media,
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with TV and celebrity,
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but now it's happening all the time, and it's directly linked to you.
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A perfect example I came across in preparation for this talk
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is my friend on vacation: 'brb, nap ...'
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(Laughter)
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'Wait, why can't I afford a vacation?
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Why am I just sitting here in my PJ's watching Netflix?
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I want to be on a beach.'
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Here's the thing, I know her very well.
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I knew this was out of the ordinary for her.
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I knew she was typically drowning in schoolwork.
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But we think, 'Who wants to see that?'
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The highlights are what people want to see.
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In fact, when your highlights do well,
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you encounter the second stressor on social media.
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Which is number two: Social Currency.
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Just like the dollar, a currency is literally something we use
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to attribute value to a good or service.
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In social media, these likes, the comments, the shares
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have become this form of social currency by which we attribute value to something.
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In marketing, we call it the 'Economy of Attention'.
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Everything is competing for your attention,
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and when you give something a like or a piece of that finite attention,
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it becomes a recorded transaction attributing value.
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Which is great if you are selling albums or clothing.
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The problem is that in our social media,
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[WE are the product.]
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We are letting others attribute value to us.
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You know someone or are someone that has taken down a photo
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because it didn't take as many likes as you thought it would.
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I'll admit, I've been right there with you.
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We took our product off the shelf because it wasn't selling fast enough.
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This is changing our sense of identity.
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We are tying up our self-worth of what others think about us
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and then we are quantifying it for everyone to see.
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And we are obsessed.
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We have to get that selfie just right, and we will take 300 photos to make sure.
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Then we will wait for the perfect time to post.
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We are so obsessed
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we have biological responses when we can't participate.
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Which leads me to the third stressor on social media.
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Number three: F.O.M.O.
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It's a light phrase we've all thrown around.
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F.O.M.O., or the 'fear of missing out', is an actual social anxiety
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from the fear that you are missing a potential connection,
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event, or opportunity.
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A collection of Canadian Universities found that 7/10 students
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said they would get rid of their social networking accounts
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if it were not for fear of being left 'out of the loop'.
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Out of curiosity, how many people here
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have, or have considered deactivating your social.
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That's almost everyone.
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That F.O.M.O. you feel, the highlight reels, the social currency,
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those are all results of a relatively 'normal' social media experience.
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But what if going on social every day was a terrifying experience?
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Where you not just question your self-worth
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but you question your safety?
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Perhaps the worst stressor on social media is number four:
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Online Harassment.
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40% of online adults have experienced online harassment.
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73% have witnessed it.
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The unfortunate reality is that it is much worse and much more likely
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if you are a woman, LGBTQ, a person of color, muslim -
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I think you get the point.
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The problem is that in the news we are seeing these big stories:
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The 18-year-old Tyler Clementi,
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who took his life after his roommate secretly filmed him kissing another guy
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and outed him on Twitter.
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We see women like Anita Sarkeesian being close to shamed of the internet
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and sent death and rape threats for sharing their feminism.
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We see these stories once it is too late.
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What about the everyday online harassment?
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What about that ugly snapchat you sent your friend
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with the intention of it being private, and now it is up on Facebook?
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'And so? It's just one photo, it's funny.'
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'Just one mean comment, not a big deal.'
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But when these micro moments happen over and over again, over time,
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that's when we have a macro problem.
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We have to recognize these everyday instances as well.
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Because if they go unchecked and the effects unnoticed,
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we are going to have many more Tyler Clementis.
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The effects are not always easy to recognise.
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How many of you have noticed the notifications at the top of my screen?
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How many of you, like me, are bothered that they're not checked?
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Ok, let me check them for you. (Sighs) Okay!
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Just one small example of what this can do to you.
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Maybe you simply cannot focus because your notifications
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are going off the handle, and you need to check.
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That need, eventually becomes addiction.
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Regarding social media, we are already experiencing
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impairment similar to substance dependencies.
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With every like, you get a shot of that feel-good chemical, dopamine.
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You gain more of that social currency. So what do we do to feel good?
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We check likes - just one more time.
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We post - just one more time.
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We are anxious if we do not have access.
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Doesn't that sound like every drug you have ever heard of?
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Yeah!
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So when that grows,
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when your social media use goes unconfronted overtime,
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that's when we see the rising levels of anxiety and depression:
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the F.O.M.O. the distractions, the highlight reels, the comparisons;
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It's a lot, and it's all the time!
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The Canadian Association of Mental Health
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found that grades 7-12 students who spent two hours a day on social media
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reported higher levels of anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts.
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For those of you doing the math, that's as young as twelve years old.
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Here is the thing, I like social media. I do, I love it.
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Hearing what I've said today
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might make you think I want you to get off of it.
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But I don't.
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I don't think it's going anywhere,
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so I'm not going to waste my time
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telling you to spend less time on social media.
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Frankly, I don't think absence is an option anymore.
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But that does not mean you can't practice 'safe social'.
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Everything I have talked about today
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has nothing and everything to do with social media.
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I mean, social media is neither good nor bad.
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It's just the most recent tool we use to do what we have always done:
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tell stories and communicate with each other.
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You wouldn't blame Samsung Television for a bad TV show.
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Twitter doesn't make people write hateful posts.
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When we talk about this dark side of social media,
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what we really talk about is the dark side of people.
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That dark side that makes harassers harass;
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that insecurity that makes you take down a photo
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you were excited to share.
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That dark side that looks at a picture of a happy family and wonders
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why yours does not look like that.
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So as parents, as educators, as friends, as bosses
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this dark side is what we need to focus on.
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We need preventative strategies and coping strategies
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so that when you have your low days - because you will -
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when you're questioning your self-worth, you never get as low as Tyler Clementi -
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and the many others like him.
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'OK, Bailey, how do you find social media wellness?'
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Here's the good news:
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Recognising a problem is the first step to fixing it.
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So hearing this talk is just that, step one: recognise the problem.
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You know the power of suggestion,
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when someone tells you about something and you start seeing it everywhere.
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That's why awareness is critical.
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Because now you will at least be better able to recognise these effects
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if and when they happen to you.
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The second thing you are going to do is audit your social media diet.
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The same way we monitor what goes into our mouth,
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monitor whatever goes into your head and heart.
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Ask yourself: 'Did that Facebook scroll make me feel better or worse off?'
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'How many times do I actually check likes?'
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'Why am I responding this way to that photo?'
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Then ask yourself if you are happy with the results.
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You might be and that's OK!
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But if you're not, move on to step three.
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Create a better online experience.
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After my partner did his audit,
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he realised his self-worth was too tied up in social media,
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but particularly celebrities reminding him of the things he didn't have.
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So he unfollowed all brands and all celebrities.
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That worked for him.
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But it might not be celebrities for you.
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For me, I had to purge other people off my timeline.
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Let me tell you a secret.
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You do not have to follow your 'friends'.
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The truth is that sometimes our friends,
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or the people we have on Facebook as a courtesy,
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they just suck online!
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You find yourself in this passive-aggressive status war
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you didn't even know was happening.
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Or you are looking at 50 photos of the same concert from the same angle.
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(Laughter)
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If you want to follow artists, or comedians, or cats,
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you can do that.
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The last thing you will do is model good behaviour.
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Offline we are taught not to bully other kids in the playground.
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We are taught to respect others and treat them how they deserve.
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We are taught not to kick others when they are down,
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or take pleasure in their downfalls.
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Social media is a tool.
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A tool that can be used for good, for more positive groups,
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for revolutions, for putting grumpy cat in Disney movies.
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(Laughs)
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Internet is a weird place.
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Is social media hurting your mental health?
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The answer is: it doesn't have to.
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Social can tear you down, yes, or it can lift you up,
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where you leave feeling better off, or have an actual laugh-out-loud.
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Finally, I have 24 hours in a day,
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if I spend two of those hours on social media,
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then I want my experiences to be full of inspiration, laughs, motivation,
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and a whole lot of grumpy cat in Disney movies.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)