Karley's story – Suicide: it felt like the only way out
Mental illness such as depression can take the sufferer to a dark place. Like being in a deep dark hole with no light in sight to guide the way out. When I became mentally unwell, I found myself in a very deep, very dark place just like that hole.
Due to past trauma and stress overload, depression and anxiety became my demons, and although I do not serve in the military, I went into combat with those demons and the battlefield was my own mind.
Blessed with a home, job, devoted partner and the love of my beautiful children, I didn't recognise how unwell I had become and my once logical mind was overrun with negative thoughts and feelings of absolute hopelessness.
I didn't have the ability to hold back the thoughts that were overwhelming me, nor see them as something that could be overcome.
Without help, I felt I had become a burden on my family and I started to conclude that they would be better off without me here causing them anguish and stress.
I had become very mentally unwell, and I just wanted the pain I was feeling to stop.
I had lost all hope that I would be, or could be, well and happy again. My mind just wouldn't let me believe it. My feeling of being a burden on my family overrode any thoughts of the consequences ending my life would have on them.
Did I attempt to take my own life? Yes, I did.
I was very lucky that my family intervened in time and got me the help I so desperately needed.
I take medication now ... I go to counselling ... I have a great support system in place to help me return to mental wellness.
Am I happy to be alive and getting mentally healthy again? Yes, I am.
Was I a burden to my family like my mind told me? No, I wasn't ... my family told me so.